INSUBCONTINENT EXCLUSIVE:
Image copyrightIndu HarikumarImage caption
Indu Harikumar's painting of herself
Ask any woman and she
will tell you that most men are obsessed with breasts
But ask Indian artist Indu Harikumar and she will tell you that most women are also obsessed with breasts: their own.For the past two
months, she has been working on a crowdsourced art project called Identitty - or identity spelled with two Ts
The reason should be obvious!"About a year ago, I was having a conversation with someone on Instagram and we started talking about breasts
She was saying she is top heavy and talked about how men react when she enters a room
How they only see her big breasts
And I was saying how I have felt inadequate since the time I was a teen because I'm not busty," she recounts
"Our experiences were different, but they were also similar
So I asked her if it would make for an interesting project and she said yes
I then asked around to see if women would participate and a lot of them said they would contribute
So I decided to do it."Image copyrightIndu HarikumarImage caption
"I don't remember the first time I was shamed for
being flat-chested but a searing memory from when I was 14 continues to make me want to shrink"
The next step was what to
call it"I asked around for suggestions to name the project and a friend came up with Identitty which I thought was very appropriate."The
Mumbai-based artist, who works mostly on Instagram, put out a post in January asking women to share their "personal stories" of breasts, the
joys and sorrows - and sometimes the humiliation - that "the world's most discussed, displayed, and desired body part" had brought them.The
participants were also asked to send a colour image of their bust, they could choose whether to be naked or dress them in "a bra, lace,
fabric, sheer, flowers, henna" and whether to appear with their faces visible or covered
They were also asked about their preferred setting for the drawing.The response, Ms Harikumar says, has been overwhelming - because "every
The shape and size of your breasts contribute to who you are"
Image copyrightIndu HarikumarImage caption
"I am size 36D When I send a nude to a guy today, or undress in front of
someone, and see the wonderment in their eyes or the praise they give me, I have learned to pick power from that, rather than cower away"
Take, for example, her own case."When I was a teenager I was very skinny and I was always worried about when would I get some
Teenaged boys were very interested in girls with well formed boobs
Others like us, the flat-chested, used to think we'd never find someone to love us." She says she felt "something was wrong with her body",
that she was "not worthy of love", and describes how it drove her into "toxic relationships" because she thought she had to "lap up whatever
She's now in her mid-30s and believes that she has a beautiful body, but says it took her a long time to reach this point.That's why, she
says, she "fully relates" to a woman who wrote to her that she feels like "half a person" because of her "small breasts".Size, though, works
both ways when it comes to the dissatisfaction many women feel with their bodies
A survey of 384 British women found that 44% wanted larger breasts - and 31% wanted smaller breasts
Image copyrightIndu HarikumarImage caption
"All my conscious life, I had been taught that a woman shouldn't draw
Like, never ever"
Ms Harikumar says while small-chested women write to her about their feelings of inadequacy, many
well-endowed women have written to her about the shame and discomfort that size brings
"One woman, whose size is 36D, never wears a T-shirt
She told me she wore really tight bras to make her breasts look smaller because she was ashamed of drawing attention to them," she says.In
one of the stories on her Insta feed, a woman writes: "The idea that larger breasts are attractive seems to me to be a cruel lie
The pain when I've tried running
The embarrassment of going to the gym
Breasts getting in the way of various yoga poses
And now that I'm breastfeeding, they're EVEN bigger." But despite shame creeping into most stories, Ms Harikumar says her paintings also
convey the joy and pride women take in their bodies, like the "woman who wanted me to draw her in a bedroom because she's aware of the
impact her breasts have on men, she knows the power of it".Image copyrightIndu HarikumarImage caption
"When puberty came
and I was expecting a miracle but nothing happened
All my growing up years I heard the nastiest remarks about having no boobs and no butt"
The project stands out because
Indian society is still largely conservative and women are expected to dress modestly
Outside of the big cities, necklines remain high and hemlines low, even an innocuous bra strap peeking from under a blouse can invite
censure, and only the very daring show cleavage.But ever since Ms Harikumar announced this project, her mailbox has been full
In less than two months, she has received about 50-60 stories and photos and so far she has drawn 19 of them
Ms Harikumar says the responses are coming from across India, from big cities and small towns, from women between 18 and 50 years of age
But her paintings do not identify the subjects or give any clues to where they are from, thus allowing women to bare their bodies and
discuss their most intimate feelings in a space that's safe and built on shared experiences.And this is giving her plenty of fodder for her
"I've never looked at my lovers' bodies as carefully as I've looked at these pictures," she says, laughing.
