Bored of the coins

INSUBCONTINENT EXCLUSIVE:
Something strange is afoot in the world of cryptocurrencies
For the first time since Satoshi dropped Bitcoin on us like a benevolent bomb, this painfully new, highly bizarre field has become … well
… boring
The true believers will tell you that great strides are being made, and the mainstream breakthrough is just around the corner, but they&ve
been saying that for long enough that it beginning to seem reasonable to start wondering if these wolves were ever real. I know, I know, it
seems especially weird to be saying this at the same time that the President of China and CEO of Facebook have both become blockchain
advocates
But China cryptocurrency, if it happens, will be a panopticoin, a tool to centralize monetary control even more firmly in the hands of the
Communist Party, nothing like the decentralized censorship-resistant programmable money that the crypto community is theoretically all
about; and Facebook&s, while making technical progress, keeps losing partners and gaining enemies. The crypto community is currently all
agog about &DeFi,& for decentralized finance, a movement which basically expands cryptocurrencies from &censorship-resistant money& to
&censorship-resistant financial instruments,& such as collateralized loans and interest-bearing investments, along with &staking& (not
really DeFi, but often treated as it.) Inside the crypto world, this seems like a revolution which will one day replace Wall Street
Outside the crypto world, it seems … a little like monks debating how many angels can dance on the end of a pin, one that no one is
actually using and nobody outside the monastery cares about. It easy to get the impression the cryptocurrency world has sacrificed technical
engineering in favor of financial engineering
It easy to see them as having abandoned &banking the unbanked,& the alleged initial noble goal of many, to &offering sophisticated financial
instruments to the unbanked,& long before any of those famous unbanked have actually been, you know, banked
And I&m sorry to report that you wouldn&t be entirely wrong. But there are real technical advances being made
It just that they&re mostly slow and behind the scenes, and in the interim, the community &MOPs and sociopaths& have seized on DeFi. There
is some visible progress
ZCash is making apparent breakthroughs in important, foundational cryptographic research
Tezos continues to upgrade its governance algorithms — modify its code constitution, basically — successfully. On the application layer,
I&m interested in Vault12, which uses &friends and family to safeguard crypto assets& — basically, instead of entrusting the secret keys
which control your cryptocurrencies to a third party like an exchange, something not particularly different from traditional banking, you
protect them among people you trust, so that some number of them can collaborate with you to recover your keys if they&re lost, using a
cryptographic protocol known as Shamir Secret Sharing
Luminaries such as Vitalik Buterin and Christopher Allen have argued for &social key recovery& for some time, and it interesting to see it
offered by a slick new Valley startup. But a lot of what happening is more fundamental, in search of the ability to support many more
transactions than today blockchains
The entire foundation of today second-leading cryptocurrency, Ethereum, is being torn apart and replaced wholesale, in search of &Ethereum
2.0.& Bitcoin remains much more stable and conservative, but a whole new story is being added to its foundations, the Lightning Network
Both make me uneasy
A fundamental rewrite is always worrying
Lightning may scale, but it is if anything even more user-hostile than Bitcoin, basically the cryptocurrency equivalent of a hard-to-use
prepaid credit card
Still, the permissionless equivalent of prepaid credit cards would be good for the unbanked that everyone clearly so worried about,
right? I&m also uneasy because almost all blockchain scaling solutions — Lightning, sharding, Plasma, optimistic rollup, etc
— turn fundamental blockchain security from something relatively passive (check the hashes and use the chain with the most computational
power) to something active (&watchtowers,& &fraud proofs.&) This seems to me to increase the security attack surface a lot. All these issues
may yet be solved
Sure
But at the same time, it feels like dissonance between the attitude inside the crypto bubble and that of mundanes may never have been
greater
Meanwhile, the dark spectre of Tether hangs over the entire industry
OK, circumstantial evidence is inadmissible for good reason … but there sure is a lot of it. I&ve argued before that &ongoing associations
with a cloud of crazy scandal and hangers-on snake-oil salespeople — all of which would be catastrophic signs for, say, a traditional new
startup — can actually be indicators of the strength, not weakness& of the cryptocurrency movement … …but at some point, your religion
— or &brain virus,& as Naval Ravikant once called cryptocurrencies — has to begin to appeal to people who do not actually live on your
compound, or else you are going to be remain a cult and wither out
When is that going to happen? Is that going to happen? The answer remains no clearer than it was five years ago.