INSUBCONTINENT EXCLUSIVE:
Image copyrightNargis TarakiImage caption
Nargis now campaigns for women's education in her home country
When Nargis Taraki became the fifth girl born to her parents in Afghanistan, her parents were told they should swap her with another baby in
the village.Now 21, she has made it her life ambition to prove they were right to keep her.Nargis now campaigns for women's education and
empowerment in her home country, and is one of the TheIndianSubcontinent's 2018 100 Women.In 1997 I opened my eyes to the world as my
parents' fifth child, and their fifth girl
My father's sister, and other relatives, immediately put pressure on my mum to agree to my father taking a second wife
Taking a second or even third wife is not uncommon in Afghanistan, and is sometimes done because they believe a new wife could mean a new
chance to have a male child.When she refused, they suggested that my father swap me for a boy
They even found a family in the village who was willing to give their boy away and take me
Swapping children is not something that is part of our culture, and I haven't heard of it happening before, but boys are more valued in
Afghan society as the traditional family breadwinners.Image copyrightNargis Taraki Image caption
Nargis credits her
father's support for her ability to get an education
People deliberately said things to upset my mother and make her feel
inferior for not having a son
Despite her refusal to part ways with me, some elders still kept approaching my father
But he had a completely different mentality
He told them he loved me, and he would one day prove to them that a daughter can achieve everything a son can
It was not an easy time for my father
He had a military background and a history of service in the previous Soviet-backed regime, and my native district at the time was
controlled by people with religious or fundamentalist tendencies
So certain people in the village used to detest him and did not socialise with us
But my father believed in what he said, and he always stood by his word
Although there was pressure on my parents to swap me because I was a girl, it was a man who had the most positive impact on my character
Fleeing home Things got worse for us after Taliban militants took control of our district
In 1998 my father had to flee to Pakistan and soon after that we joined him there
Life there was not easy - but he managed to get work as a manager in a shoe factory
Perhaps the best thing to happen to my parents whilst in Pakistan was that they finally had a son, followed by my fifth sister
Image copyrightNargis TarakiImage caption
Nargis (left) with one of her sisters and younger brother
In
2001, we all returned to Kabul after the Taliban regime was toppled
We didn't have a house of our own and had to live with my uncles
My sisters and I managed to keep going to school despite conservatism in our culture.I went on to study public policy and administration at
Kabul University and graduated two years ago with the highest marks for that year
Throughout that time my father never stopped supporting me
A couple of years ago I went to watch a cricket game in Kabul with my sister
There weren't many women in the stadium and our photographs and videos were circulated on social media
People started criticising us and leaving negative comments, saying we were shameless to be in a stadium amongst men
Others said we were trying to spread adultery and were being paid by the Americans
When my father saw some of the comments on Facebook, he looked at me and said: "My dear
You have done the right thing
I am glad you have annoyed some of these idiots
Enjoy it as much as you can."My father died of cancer earlier this year
In him, I lost someone whose constant support made me into the person that I am today, and I know he will always be with me.Image
copyrightPromote-WIEImage caption
Nargis presenting a talk at a Forward Together Afghanistan event
Three
years ago I tried to open a school for girls in my native village in Ghazni
I talked to my father about it and he said it would be almost impossible because of cultural boundaries, and even boys have difficulties
because of the security situation
My father thought giving it a name of a religious madrassa might have improved our chances.In the end I was unable to travel to my native
village because it was simply too dangerous
One of my sisters and I still hope to achieve this goal one day.In the meantime, I volunteered for several years for NGOs in that part of
the world, working for women's education, health and empowerment
I've also presented talks on a girl's right to go to school, university and to get a job
I've always dreamed of studying at the University of Oxford one day
When I look at international university rankings I always find Oxford in first or second position, and when I compare that with Kabul
University I feel a bit sad - although that's not to say I'm not thankful I was able to go.Image copyrightPromote-WIEImage caption
Nargis has given talks on the importance of education
I love to read in my spare time - an average of two to three
books a week - and Paolo Coelho is my favourite author.'No compromise' In terms of marriage, I would like to choose someone myself and my
family have given me permission to marry someone of my own choice
It would be great if I can find someone who has the same qualities as my father
I would want to spend the rest of my life with someone who has a similar attitude - who can support me and stand by my choices.Family is
also important - sometimes you marry the best man out there but then you cannot adapt to his family
They will have to support me in what I want to do in my life
If they resist then I will try and change their minds
I believe in what I want to achieve in life and will not compromise
What is 100 WomenTheIndianSubcontinent 100 Women names 100 influential and inspirational women around the world every year and shares their
stories.It's been a momentous year for women's rights around the globe, so in 2018 TheIndianSubcontinent 100 Women is reflecting the
trailblazing women who are using passion, indignation and anger to spark real change in the world around them.Read more:
